It's 3 am. You're wide awake. And your brain has chosen now, of all the hours available, to start solving the thing you've been quietly avoiding for weeks.
If you know that feeling, this one's for you.
I haven't done a confessional for a while, so here we go 🤣😅
Funnily enough, my last email to you went out right after that keynote at Comcast's London office, the one where I confessed how much easier I find it to give advice than to take it.
Well. The universe was clearly listening.
Because I then flew home, twenty-four hours in the air, and spent the next week or so doing the exact opposite of everything I'd just stood on stage and recommended.
Here's my problem… the moment I'm on the road, the wheels come off. No gym, no routine, living out of Airbnbs and friends' spare rooms. Too jet-lagged to sleep, too tired to exercise, too wired to eat well. Plus I'm catching up with friends and family and genuinely having fun. One thing feeds the next, and round it goes.
So I decided on a hard reset, a five-day fast (I've worked my way up to 5 days over the years, so please don't try this at home!! 😅).
Fasting resets my dopamine system, makes vegetables and fruit taste good again, and helps me climb back into some kind of balance… because if the truth be known, staying balanced on the road is something I still can't crack.
But here's the bit I found interesting.
In the daytime, I couldn't bring myself to decide when I would start the fast.
All I had to do was open the calendar and pick the days. And yet I kept telling myself the same thing… I'll work it out tomorrow.
Then in the middle of the night? Suddenly it was the most important thing in the world. Wide awake, brain calling a full meeting, trying to schedule a five-day water fast at three in the morning. As you do.
And today it finally landed. Those two things are the same thing.
Avoidance.
The daytime "can't be bothered" wasn't laziness. The 3 am "this is urgent" wasn't me being sensible. Both were avoidance. In the day, I stayed too busy to feel it. At night, there was nowhere left to hide.
Because the thing we're avoiding doesn't disappear when we distract ourselves, it just waits for the room to go quiet.
And I don't think that makes us lazy in the day, or broken at night.
I think it makes us human…
Whatever the thing is that wakes you up at 3 am, it's just asking to be looked at.
So if your nights do this too, here's what I'd suggest.
At 3 am, the ‘thing’ doesn't need solving.
It isn't asking for a plan, or a decision, or a water fast booked before sunrise. It's only asking to be seen. So you can name it, softly (”this is the thing I've been avoiding, and I'll look at it properly tomorrow”), and let it wait for the light.
Then, in the daytime, you actually look. Not the whole mountain. Just a few quiet minutes with the one thing, while the room is bright, and you don't feel so alone with it.
Avoidance by day. Urgency by night. Same thing, two outfits.
Let's look at it gently… In the daylight.
And if tonight your mind starts booking those 3 am meetings, this is the sleep meditation I'd put on to settle it 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾
▶ Watch: Woke Up at 3am | This Will Get You Back to Sleep (Rain Sounds)
Much love,
Chibs 💙
